Naughty Little Flat Spheres of Yum
This story begins beneath a tree in the heady days of 2003.
He dared her to make the very best chicken pie.
He threw down some lemons and some extract,
and she toiled and she sweated till she nearly went cross-eyed,
and won them the Sainsbury’s contract.
The man was so pleased, he climbed down from the tree,
and said: “I simply must marry you at once”,
and at this bequest, they formed a business,
and she married the man with a completely made-up surname.
Little round yumtastic savoury nom noms in sexily packaged boxes,
are tasty enough to nearly distract me from the loudly copulating foxes
outside my window that won’t shut up and resolve to try to distract me,
from writing this fantastic dittie,
this glorious free advert for Higgidy.
The company grew and became quite successful,
and this is just about all I could find through the media.
I googled for Higgidy details and skilfully embellished the facts on Wikipedia.
An unemployed graduate who likes eating pies as a staple food,
is writing this mainly for the apron tea towel,
which you casually mentioned you might possibly send if this poem is quite good,
this line has to rhyme with tea towel.
For this graduate’s on benefits, you see, you see,
for this young lad’s on benefits, you see.
They won’t give him a job, no they won’t give him a job, for this graduate’s on benefits, you see.
But he likes baking nice cakes, you see, you see,
he bakes simply the best carrot cake ever, you see,
and he wants a free apron to wear whilst he bakes it,
to deflect him from the misery of unemployment (you see, you see).
So I don’t want to sound like a slave driver,
but a free apron would really be quite great,
If in doubt please just consider your 3.2 million turnover, in early 2008.
(I would also QUITE LIKE a spinach, feta and toasted pine nut pie as they are MY FAVOURITEST if you have one spare but don?t worry if not).
